*Toritsuki no Hitsuyou is a blog about my life, webcomics, or whatever hits me at the moment.*

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Seeing the Finish Line, and Falling On Your Face, Unconscious

****Song Mood of the Moment: "Climax" by Masami Okui.****

Let me start this ramble off topic- my boyfriend and I made a pact: If I get to go see Masami Okui in concert [a long-time dream of mine] then he gets to go see The Pillows in concert [a recent dream of his]. I just thought that was odd and cute. ^^;
Now, onto the meat of this post...
Why is it that whenever I have a goal within my reach, I give up or get dis-inspired out of disbelief, and just fall over?
You see, I got a publishing offer for PSC a few months ago, and since then, I have NOT felt like drawing! Everytime I think of picking up a pencil, I get this horrible cloud of dread over my head, which makes me promptly drop the pencil. Does anyone else have this problem? What do you do to get over it? I'm worried that the publisher will recind it's offer if I don't get off my lazy ass, but I just can't make myself do it. It just seems crappy and strained when I force it! ;_; I'm irritated, and i'm also worried that this is a mental side effect of the strain of my Work Comp case. Damn. Why can't my life be normal?
Speaking of Work Comp...
Listen to what my bitch-whore of a landlady did this week: She comes in, raving about how she got me a job doing customer service at an RV place in town, that I start Tuesday [yesterday]. I was so stunned, I was literally speechless. As she went on about how rich the people who owned the place were, I thought to myself: "That bitch may have just fucked up my case that i've spent a year and a half fighting!"
You see, I'm still technically employed by the employer who broke me, and they are still paying for my basic medical coverage [so's I can get a cold duck between my legs in July in order to get more birth control pills. <---speculum reference ^^;] I am on a strict no-work order until my case settles and I finish Vocational Rehab. Plus, I'm MOVING to Missouri in a few months! 0_0 [We haven't told the landlady though. She's the type to go: "You're moving in 3 months? Fine, get the fuck out now then."]
I can't wait to move... -_- I've been living in this hellhole for a year, and it feels like forever.
But, I'm not the only one who feels bad- my boyfriend decided to move with me! Across 4 states, someone who didn't want to leave California, to be with ME. ^___^ But then his mom was like, "We're moving to Tenessee!" and he went "Whoopdeedo. I'm moving with Mel. I already told you this." So, suddenly, he's being treated like a red-headed stepchild by his mom, and she's rushing to sell her house and move before my family does so he'll be screwed. But my mom, who's pretty cool, said if that happened she'd send him and I out to MO ahead of time to buy a house. that made me really happy. ^^ The house my dad is renting a room in sold, so he's got 30 days to pack, and most likely, he'll come live with us. Won't the landlady find that delightful? She hates my dad. Why? 'Cause he tells her to fuck straight off, and that she's a materialistic bitch. ^_^ But, that makes my house even more crowded. Damn. *sigh* Drama, drama...
Well, off to Gaia Online anime roleplaying community to poll and topic whore some more. ^^;